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I think this is my favorite essay of your's yet. First, this observation is so astute. "Moulding can be a self-inflicted endeavour as much as it can be imposed by others." And in my own self-observation I'd say that moulding is actually even more inflicted from within than imposed. That may not be true in childhood, where we have no choice but to adopt the ways of our caregivers to get the love that we need, but at a certain point we are the only ones who are driving compliance to fixed models of behavior.

This idea leads so beautifully to your highlight of Leonard Cohen's advice to "forget your perfect offering" - encouragement that could hardly be more on point for those of us attempting to make a living as guides, teachers, or content creators. You talk about the need for pattern breaks, and the kind of literal vacation break you describe is certainly useful, though I am most intrigued by introducing catalysts for relaxation right into the middle of the "job" and practicing to find a way to make the work fun and easy. Though that idea runs counter to my self-moulding, which is that work has to feel like WORK!

Finally, you talk about the required co-existence of reason and passion, a final gem you weave into this masterful essay centered on the journey of Margaret Tredeau. The need for that blend is near and dear to my heart as a balance of the two are essential to my primary vocation as a professional speaker. New forms of reasoned perspective is the deliverable when speaking to an audience, but passion is the delivery vehicle. And the same could be said for our writing, which you have just demonstrated so beautifully in this very article of yours.

Thanks for the work you put into it.

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Thank you so much, Rick! That's a HUGE compliment given you've been a dedicated weekly reader. I love the thoughts you've expanded on with your own.

It goes to show how relatable (not to mention timeless) these challenges are.

Thank you so much for sharing your insights based on your experience as a speaker, teacher, content creator, and more. I appreciate you!

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My pleasure Alexandra. I like what you say about these challenges being relatable and timeless. Showing up for other human beings seems to be such a core activity of being that is such a large and yet worthwhile challenge. I've been focusing a lot more on this the last week since deciding to start a new substack project to support others with public speaking. I only mention it since you've invited me previously to share what I'm up to here, so here's a link if you want to follow along with venture. https://pivottothepodium.substack.com/

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Congrats, Rick! Just subbed. Look forward to learning from you and 100% keep sharing what you're up to. :)

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Jun 22, 2023Liked by Alexandra Allen

Rick summed up what I had to say. Fabulous piece, Alexandra.

I'd say I fall on the passion side of the spectrum, and I don't know whether that is a good thing or not!

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Thank you, Ishan! I appreciate you.

That's great self-awareness and I'd say I fall on that side as well but that I'm close enough to the middle to feel like I have enough reason to balance me out.

My take is you have a sufficient balance as well. :)

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This is a great piece. I am not sure whether I want to wade through Margaret Trudeau‘s autobiography, but I can thank you for reading it for me and sharing the essence. I have been mesmerised by Cohen‘s poetry and music since I was a late teen and his first album has accompanied me on my whole journey so far: I enjoyed your connecting the two strands of your story as you did.

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Thank you, your words mean a lot! She's a fantastic writer with a spirited vocabulary but it's definitely a dense read given the subject matter.

I'm new to exploring Cohen's work so I look forward to developing a similar appreciation. Something about his style and appearance reminds me of the late Anthony Bourdain (who was American but vocal about his deep connection and love for Montreal). Perhaps I'll explore similarities there in a future edition!

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This was such a great read Alexandra! "Forget your perfect offering," a sentiment I needed to hear and always need to hear. I love what you pulled from Leonard Cohen's song and applied to your own journey. I didn't know anything about Margaret Trudeau and it was really interesting learning about her. I've been think a little bit about breaks and pattern disruption and what you covered here really resonated.

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Beautiful essay. Thank you, especially, for reminding me of the Leonard Cohen song. This whole piece reminds me of wabi-sabi. It's in the cracks and imperfections that beauty really lives. And, like moulding oneself to a shape we don't fit, pretending there are no cracks can only lead to pain. 🙏

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