The Vacation Litmus Test
How to gauge whether you're truly happy or just comfortable (and why I urge you to make changes in the latter case)
Hey, it’s Alexandra. Welcome to my weekly newsletter where I share my latest reflections on professional development and well-being.
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Today, I share how you can facilitate your happiest future using a vacation “litmus test” inspired by:
A quote from a novelist
A concept from an entrepreneur
A question I’ve been asking myself for years
☕️ Read time: 3 mins (best with tea or coffee)
American novelist Hanya Yanagihara once wrote, “The best part about going away is coming home.” I inevitably think about this quote anytime I go on vacation. I use it as a frame to reflect on whether I’m truly happy or just comfortable with how things are. In the latter case, I identify things I need to change.
I urge others to do the same when they confide in me that they dread going “back to reality” or view vacation as an “escape.” Granted vacations are an opportunity to scale back on everyday responsibilities and indulge in a euphoric state of being, if time away becomes a lifeline to keep your daily life afloat, that’s a surefire sign that you need to make changes.
Asking myself, “Am I ready and looking forward to going home?” at the end of a trip has served me well over the years and across the four countries I’ve lived in.
Most of the time, I’ve been pleased to answer my question with an emphatic “Yes.” That’s not to say I wouldn’t have enjoyed prolonged vacations but even in cases where I wasn’t necessarily looking forward to getting back to work, my excitement about seeing cherished colleagues and filling them in on my adventures, would prime me to get back into the flow.
Most recently, I’m happy to report that after two weeks in Italy on a dream family vacation in celebration of my brother’s wedding, I was ready and looking forward to coming home last weekend. I returned feeling grateful, rejuvenated, and creatively inspired.
Conversely, I remember one time many years ago when I took a two-week vacation abroad and by the end, realized I wasn’t looking forward to going back to work. For the first time in my life, it occurred to me that I wasn’t even looking forward to seeing my colleagues.
Despite being great people whose company I enjoyed (no pun intended), my time away made me realize the extent to which the office culture had shifted. The atmosphere had become tense and frigid. It prompted me to speak up upon my return and while things didn’t change overnight, they improved over time.
Another major change sparked by the same litmus test was when I quit my job to pursue self-employment precisely three years ago, in August 2021. I had just returned to work from a two-week vacation in Miami. I expected my bosses to be shocked—pissed off, even—that I was quitting days after my return. Surely they’d think, “Why didn’t you tell us beforehand to give us extra notice?” But to my surprise, it was quite the opposite.
I’ll always remember what one Director—a veteran entrepreneur—said to soothe my guilt:
“Don’t feel bad. It’s normal to have these “come-to-Jesus” moments when you take a break and remove yourself from your typical environment.”
A come-to-Jesus moment is “a moment of sudden realization, comprehension, or recognition that often precipitates a major change.” These moments can be sparked by a reaction to Yanagihara’s claim that “The best part about going away is coming home.” My question to you is, how do you feel about “coming home” after time away?
How much time you take can dramatically alter your revelations. Two weeks is my sweet spot to disconnect and relax while creating enough distance to deeply reflect on what I want moving forward. But the amount of time you need will vary so trust your instincts. Regardless, it helps to visit a beautiful place. My time in Italy has me extra optimistic about running toward my dreams for the future—and to face any fears that crop up in my quest.
I urge you to do the same. Identify anything within your life that needs changing and make those changes. As I shared in a previous post called Let Go (to Live The Life You Were Born to Live), most people prefer familiar pain over fear of the unknown. But you only get one life, so strive for maximum happiness. You deserve it.
Here’s hoping you get everything you dream of.
Thanks for reading and have a wonder-full week,
Great reminder! (and I'm jealous of the European trip)
What a memorable vacation it was & thanks to you for being the trip organizer! Beautiful Italy 🇮🇹