Stumble & Stabilize

A tribute to a peer-turned-friend and how she's inspired me to keep going over 126 weeks

Hey, it’s Alexandra. Welcome to my weekly newsletter where I share my latest reflections on professional development & well-being.

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This week, I share reflections on how:

• Stumbling is the admission price to developing a new skill

• Walking on your own is the end goal (not the first step)

• Modelling is a powerful motivator

  ☕️ Read time: 3 mins (best with tea or coffee)

Write of Passage: Cohort 7 — September 2021

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The hardest part of starting something new is powering through the “stumble stage” where you resemble a baby learning to walk. Despite your best efforts, you feel rigid, uncoordinated, and outright clumsy.

For the most part, babies just keep getting back up, undeterred by even the most epic wipeouts. Sometimes they cry out of frustration—or worse, physical pain—and sometimes they just want to be picked up and carried for some reprieve.

Professional development isn’t all that different—except for us having more pride.

Take writing, for example. Like every other skill, it takes consistent effort to improve over time. I’m Exhibit A. I’ve been publishing this newsletter for 128 weeks (roughly 2.5 years), and when I look back on my early editions, I marvel at how it took me ages to produce a hack job by today’s standards.

For months, I strictly shared my posts on Twitter since no one from my pre-online writing life used it. I didn’t dare share them on LinkedIn because I didn’t want my peers to see me stumbling.

But two years later, I’m no longer embarrassed by those early editions or the fact that I’m still not the best writer. I recognize my potential and as long as I’m working toward it, I’m proud of myself.

My newsletter was born from a five-week intensive writing course called Write of Passage, and there’s a piece of advice one of the mentors shared that I was reflecting on over the weekend. He said, “Once your writing is better, you can go back and edit or delete those early posts.”

Another mentor was quick to shake her head and counter. “I don’t edit my old posts. I like to see my growth trajectory over time,” she said. For context, the first mentor was writing for business purposes while the second was writing for personal ones. So it makes sense they would have different approaches.

But as someone in the second camp, I too am uncompelled to edit my old posts. Instead, I take opportunities to repurpose passages from them. Typically, that involves some rewriting based on my improved skillset.

Ultimately, my biggest takeaway from my Write of Passage experience was understanding the best way to improve my writing was to share it before I felt “ready.” Whether it was sharing drafts for peer feedback or having the guts to hit “publish” on a public post, if I hadn’t overcome my fear, you wouldn’t be reading edition 128 right now. This is where a fitness fallacy comes into play.

The Gym Fallacy

The Gym Fallacy is a loop aspiring gymgoers get stuck in. Here’s what happens. Someone declares they want to adopt a more active lifestyle but claims they can’t join the gym until they get in shape. Effectively, they want to avoid looking “bad” and hit the ground running (pun fully intended).

But it doesn’t work that way. You can’t skip the stumble stage, and the more you prevent people from seeing you stumble, the less you benefit from support and encouragement. This is where stumble buddies are a game-changer.

Stumble Buddies

When I joined the kickoff call for Write of Passage back in September 2021, I was excited. But that excitement quickly dissipated when I joined my first breakout session. I found myself in a Zoom room with two alumni members who’d taken the course a year prior and hearing them discuss their “weekly writing groups” and “publishing schedules” had me panicked.

I didn’t have either of those things nor the faintest clue how to kickstart them. So I was filled with dread thinking I’d made a mistake joining the course.

That’s where my peer-turned-friend

Simone Silverstein

came in. Simone was a fellow first-timer and her writing caught my eye in week one when she wrote the most animated article about a salad.

This particular line struck me as a hat trick of POP writing—a framework we were learning on how to make our writing “POP” through a mix of Personal, Observational, and Playful elements:

“It’s a circus in my mouth minus the animals (I’m vegetarian).”

I had two distinct thoughts while reading Simone’s article. First, this woman can write, and second, I’m in big trouble.

While Simone was diving into the depths of all three POP pools with gymnastic form, I was splashing around the shallow end of the “observational” one unable to swim.

It took weeks and months for me to wade into the other pools, let alone tread water in their deep ends. Most people struggled like I did, so it made Simone’s writing stand out all the more.

The best part? She was visibly having fun. That’s when it occurred to me not to take things so seriously. Sure, there were students ahead of me, whether they were returning alumni like my breakout buddies or first-timers more skilled than me like Simone, but it wasn’t a competition. Conversely, seeing them model skills I strived for motivated me to keep writing.

Stabilizing Buddies

As our final assignment in Write of Passage, Simone and I simultaneously launched our Substacks on October 13, 2021. Since then, we’ve been publishing alongside each other week after week.

So it was bittersweet when I read her recent announcement that she’s hitting “pause” on publishing:

There were many weeks early on that I struggled to meet my Wednesday publishing deadline. But then I’d see Simone’s newsletter hit my inbox on Tuesday and I’d rally.

The two of us were consistent at hitting “send” at all hours (often with a typo or two) and I always loved Simone’s reassurance that spontaneity is not just okay, but our own form of authenticity.

I’m going to miss seeing her name pop up weekly in my inbox. But more importantly, I’m ultra grateful to her for reminding me of three things over 126 weeks:

1. There’s nothing like putting in the reps to inspire others to do the same

2. It’s important to hit “pause” now and then to clarify your intentions

3. Hitting “publish” on something that’s “good enough” gets you further than perfecting something you never publish

Simone’s sense of humour, talent, and wit in cooking up brilliant posts added zest to what could have easily become a monotonous weekly practice.

So I hope next time you’re stumbling through something you find a “Simone” to journey with. Eventually, you’ll be marvelling at your ability to walk on your own—and thanking them for it.

Thank you, Simone, for everything.

Have a wonder-full week,

Alexandra

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