Mine Your Memories
Make your values visible and reinforce good instincts
Hey, it’s Alexandra. Welcome to my weekly newsletter where I share my latest reflections on professional development & well-being.
If you’re not a subscriber, here’s what you missed recently:
Subscribe to get future posts emailed to you:
This week, I’m sharing my latest reflections on how to:
Mine your memories for wisdom related to work
Promote values by making them visible (and aesthetically pleasing)
Reinforce good instincts to build confidence in others
☕️ Read time: 3 mins (best with tea or coffee)
“Thanks for nothing!”
Those three words were seared into my eight-year-old brain when an elderly lady snarled them at me on a warm, sunny day.
I was sitting in the lobby of my grandmother’s new, Irish-themed condo complex with my five-year-old sister directly across from me. My mum had given me clear instructions while she and my aunt carted a few final items up the elevator to their new home: “Watch your sister and don’t let anyone in.”
“Okay,” I said.
But shortly thereafter someone appeared at the door.
The entire wall was made of floor-to-ceiling glass so I could see she who beckoned was roughly my grandmother’s age. She was elegantly dressed, carrying two big shopping bags, and struggling to find her keys.
I felt like I should open the door for her. But my mum’s words, “Don’t let anyone in,” echoed in my head. I looked back at my sister, her pigtails only adding to her innocence, and resisted getting up.
I felt the tension rising like the tide as I ignored the woman and whispered to my sister not to stare.
Then finally, I heard the jangle of keys and the turning of a lock as I caught the door swing open in my peripheral.
I heard the fury of her heels before I heard the flames in her voice. She whirled past us, shoulders elevated with rage, and barked “Thanks for nothing!” as she stormed to the elevator.
My sister looked at me wide-eyed.
A moment later, my mum and aunt returned with my grandmother. I was aghast but my mum said nonchalantly “Oh, well you could’ve let her in.”
“You told me not to let anyone in!” I protested.
My grandmother just laughed and said what a crabby lady the woman must’ve been. She assured me I’d had the right instinct and not to give it another thought.
I was reflecting on this on Saint Patrick’s Day—a day my grandmother lived for—and it got me thinking about two takeaways from twenty-six years back.
Takeaway #1: Make Your Values Visible
Everyone lucky enough to have known my grandmother will tell you what a fun, optimistic person she was. Looking back, I realize the joy and gratitude she exuded as a person was largely reflected in her home.
She had cheerful Irish blessings hung about the house reminding all those who read them how fortunate they were. Whether you were cognizant of it or not, you naturally absorbed those good vibes.
It reminds me of a project I heard about in London nearly ten years ago. When the Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea decided to redo their city council offices, they enlisted expert advice on how to display their organization’s values artistically.
The goal was to help employees internalize their values without feeling as though they were being shoved in their faces or hearing them repeated robotically.
This undertaking was scientifically backed by a study that had shown regular exposure to specific words has remarkable results. Granted creative elements such as colour, font, size, and positioning are crucial to how well viewers absorb those words, there’s a lot of subconscious magic that factors in.
(On a related note, this is why so many people feel compelled to decorate their homes with signs like “Live, Laugh, Love.” There’s a direct correlation between repeated exposure to uplifting language and your overall mood—even if you don’t realize it in the moment.)
Amazon Example
The power of making your values visible is exemplified by mega-successful companies like Amazon. Case in point, check out their iconic “Day 1” value displayed in one of their many offices, below:
Here’s what “Day 1” means at Amazon:
“[M]aintaining a long-term focus, obsessing over customers and their needs, and boldly innovating to meet those needs—have remained consistent for over two decades, and lie at the heart of what is known at Amazon as a “Day 1” mentality.”
—Daniel Slater, Culture of Innovation, AWS
What strikes me about this value is how synonymous it is with the company mission. Most companies have a much bigger gap between the two which can be described as complementary at best and disconnected at worst.
So in addition to reflecting on how companies can better link the two, I’m also reflecting on the following questions:
How can companies make their values more visible to employees?
How can companies make their values more prominent while integrating them as part of an overall vibe?
How can remote companies replicate the presence of value-conveying decor in online workspaces to promote absorption?
I’m curious if you have suggestions so please comment below or hit reply with anything you have in mind—whether it’s something you’ve seen work or a wild idea you think could work.
Takeaway #2: Reinforce Good Instincts
When I think back to my grandmother’s moving day over two decades ago, and my verbal lashing from one of her neighbours, I realize the power of reinforcing good instincts—in both kids and adults.
Even though I didn’t let the crabby lady inside, I had sensed I could (hence why I felt awkward ignoring her). But I didn’t because even at age eight, I grasped the risk of letting a stranger in with no adult present.
But it’s not just kids that need reinforcement to build confidence. It recently occurred to me how powerful the phrase “good instinct” is when used by a mentor or manager.
It’s one thing to tell mentees or direct reports you want them to have a point of view and agree with them, it’s another to reinforce good instincts that increase those odds.
You have to embody a math teacher grading the “show your work” portion of a test. Just because a final answer isn’t right doesn’t mean the steps taken in the process are worthless. (Imagine how many people would’ve flunked math if that were the case. I swear some people got through on peg points alone.)
My question to you is, how can you reinforce good instincts to help teammates build the confidence they need to take greater initiative?
Reflection Prompt: Mine Your Memories
My siblings, cousins and I couldn’t run wild on the putting green in our grandmother’s condo community (which was exclusively for retirees), but we had some epic tournaments at a place near her and my late grandfather’s cottage where we spent summers growing up. My takeaway there is mini putt is an underrated activity for all ages—especially when followed by ice cream.
Now that we’ve sauntered down my memory lane, what are some of your childhood stories that have shaped how you approach your work?
Consider making a nice, warm beverage and cracking out your favourite journal to mine your memories for some gold. Much like my grandmother’s crabby neighbour, I’m sure some interesting characters will surface in the process—you’re guaranteed to smile as they do.
Thanks for reading and have a wonder-full week,