My 14 year old often asks me for feedback on things he’s created, music and models primarily, and being a people-pleaser and part Canadian like you, I’m often sugar-coating it. The moment I start speaking with that unconscious agenda (preserving the “peace” of our connection) he gets mad, and reminds me he finds it difficult to trust my positive assessments if I never offer constructive criticism. It is, in fact, a Canadian cultural handicap, apologizing in advance for our point of view. I’m so sorry I left such a long comment.
😂 I’m glad we share the Canadian-ism, Rick! And love that your son wants the “unsoftened” truth. It speaks volumes to the relationship you have that he respects and craves your genuine feedback and constructive criticism. Parenting on point! 😊
Love the examples 👏🏽 Having experienced fact-based feedback I can attest it lands much better than being ghosted and/or receiving information that I can’t do much with (ie feeling-based).
Thanks, Cris! I'm glad the examples speak to you. Likewise, I've been the recipient of both and the fact-based feedback was far more empowering and action-oriented.
Thanks, Camilo! You're right about the application to interpersonal relationships in general. And likewise, I'm honoured to consider myself the same to you. :)
I found this issue particularly valuable, Ali. DMing you
Thanks, Karena! That's great feedback (no pun intended) given you've been a reader since day 1. :)
My 14 year old often asks me for feedback on things he’s created, music and models primarily, and being a people-pleaser and part Canadian like you, I’m often sugar-coating it. The moment I start speaking with that unconscious agenda (preserving the “peace” of our connection) he gets mad, and reminds me he finds it difficult to trust my positive assessments if I never offer constructive criticism. It is, in fact, a Canadian cultural handicap, apologizing in advance for our point of view. I’m so sorry I left such a long comment.
😂 I’m glad we share the Canadian-ism, Rick! And love that your son wants the “unsoftened” truth. It speaks volumes to the relationship you have that he respects and craves your genuine feedback and constructive criticism. Parenting on point! 😊
It's so important to be able to provide useful feedback (and not just opinions/thoughts). Thanks for showing us this in a really clear story.
Thanks, Becky! Glad the story landed. Getting the "clarity" thumbs up from a fellow editor is the ultimate win. :)
Love the examples 👏🏽 Having experienced fact-based feedback I can attest it lands much better than being ghosted and/or receiving information that I can’t do much with (ie feeling-based).
Thanks, Cris! I'm glad the examples speak to you. Likewise, I've been the recipient of both and the fact-based feedback was far more empowering and action-oriented.
This turned out so well! And I've been thinking about feedback since I read your draft. It's also a great practice for interpersonal relationships.
Also, I'm just honored to be called your writer pal :).
Thanks, Camilo! You're right about the application to interpersonal relationships in general. And likewise, I'm honoured to consider myself the same to you. :)
well put, and valuable.
Thank you, Dave! That's great to hear.