So much wisdom packed into just one article and so well written Alex - I’m truly impressed at your discipline and generosity in sharing these life lessons every week! Well done and thank you !
Conversations are difficult not because of the subject matter, but because of the emotions that go with it (fear, anxiety, nervousness), and what we might need for ourselves - affiliation, security, safety, understanding - or as Ringo hinted at - connection and presence.
That wonderful phrase you picked out: Do you want me to come with ya?" reminds me of "Coming Alongside" in Motivational Interviewing. When someone is stuck, sometimes we simply need to be present. There's no need to fix or help or advise or man-splain: presence and acceptance is enough.
Oh - and Hampstead Heath is my favourite park, too. I used to train in the Parliament Hill lido, and the ponds, but nowadays as I don't live as near, I'm outdoors in Kensington Gardens and Hyde Park.
That interview clip is priceless. What a gem to share with us. Thank you. In the digital space I think that has been my instinct around commenting on other writers' work, it's a simple way of offering to "come with" the person who is going on a journey to share their strengths, their goodness, and their art.
Oh god... the need we feel as adults to help other adults solve their conflict...
What's funny to me is that as adults, we have no problem telling children to solve their disagreements themselves. We KNOW that it doesn't help children if we have to intervene in their interpersonal conflict, as it creates dependency and sets them up for future conflict.
However, as adults, we feel obligated to help other adults in their disagreements? Of course the same principles apply!
So much wisdom packed into just one article and so well written Alex - I’m truly impressed at your discipline and generosity in sharing these life lessons every week! Well done and thank you !
What a beautiful essay! The ending really hit me. I’m trying to think now of how I can offer that support to the people who are closest to me.
Great gems here, Ali!
Conversations are difficult not because of the subject matter, but because of the emotions that go with it (fear, anxiety, nervousness), and what we might need for ourselves - affiliation, security, safety, understanding - or as Ringo hinted at - connection and presence.
That wonderful phrase you picked out: Do you want me to come with ya?" reminds me of "Coming Alongside" in Motivational Interviewing. When someone is stuck, sometimes we simply need to be present. There's no need to fix or help or advise or man-splain: presence and acceptance is enough.
Oh - and Hampstead Heath is my favourite park, too. I used to train in the Parliament Hill lido, and the ponds, but nowadays as I don't live as near, I'm outdoors in Kensington Gardens and Hyde Park.
That interview clip is priceless. What a gem to share with us. Thank you. In the digital space I think that has been my instinct around commenting on other writers' work, it's a simple way of offering to "come with" the person who is going on a journey to share their strengths, their goodness, and their art.
Oh god... the need we feel as adults to help other adults solve their conflict...
What's funny to me is that as adults, we have no problem telling children to solve their disagreements themselves. We KNOW that it doesn't help children if we have to intervene in their interpersonal conflict, as it creates dependency and sets them up for future conflict.
However, as adults, we feel obligated to help other adults in their disagreements? Of course the same principles apply!
This a great reminder Ali!