Reading this made me realize that I need to hire a cleaner... thank you Alexandra, for the push to ask for help rather than constantly trying to do everything, everywhere, all at once!
"Another limiting belief of deferring help needed now to “when I have kids” is the illusion that new parenthood is an optimal time to add more changes to our lives." — I don't know if you meant for this line to be funny, but I certainly burst out laughing.
I resonate with your message here Alexandra. We could all use a confidence boost when we need to ask for help. This post gave me that.
Man, Alex... you always know how to hit home! First of all - we have our home cleaned bi-weekly, and I would literally give up EVERY SINGLE OTHER EXTRAVAGANCE OR INDULGENCE before I would give it up. It has free us up and eliminated stress so that we can spend more time as a family on the weekends. We love it! The key is finding a great company that you love. It took us some duds to find "the one," but now we are smoothly sailing.
I am a people pleaser and recovering perfectionist. I struggle HARD with asking for help. I will say - we can't compare ourselves to our parents. They had retired parents (our grandparents) available as free childcare, and they often helped/supported with many other parenting/household responsibilities. My grandmother did laundry, cooked meals, drove us places, and did homework with us. She cleaned, too. Generationally speaking, things are not equivalent. Our parents are working longer, and (at least in the USA) we have astronomical childcare costs. Times have changed, and there should be no shame in outsourcing help when we need it. That is self-care, too. :).
House cleaning…..Yuk. I had a cleaner when I worked and even have one now that I am retired. I hate housework and when I did it on my own, I would start early in the morning, but become distracted and by 3 o’clock I still wasn’t finished. If you can manage it, having an housekeeper improves your quality of life immensely. Don’t feel guilty, feel enlightened.
A well-timed theme for me to imbibe, this asking for help thing has never been easy for me, but participating in Write of Passage has made a huge difference toward opening to collaborative experience. Between WoP and the community on substack I feel like I'm living in an “Hey, maybe we could help each other" festival. We're not making lasagna, but we are sending more art out of the kitchen than any of us would have on our own.
Reading this made me realize that I need to hire a cleaner... thank you Alexandra, for the push to ask for help rather than constantly trying to do everything, everywhere, all at once!
"Another limiting belief of deferring help needed now to “when I have kids” is the illusion that new parenthood is an optimal time to add more changes to our lives." — I don't know if you meant for this line to be funny, but I certainly burst out laughing.
I resonate with your message here Alexandra. We could all use a confidence boost when we need to ask for help. This post gave me that.
Man, Alex... you always know how to hit home! First of all - we have our home cleaned bi-weekly, and I would literally give up EVERY SINGLE OTHER EXTRAVAGANCE OR INDULGENCE before I would give it up. It has free us up and eliminated stress so that we can spend more time as a family on the weekends. We love it! The key is finding a great company that you love. It took us some duds to find "the one," but now we are smoothly sailing.
I am a people pleaser and recovering perfectionist. I struggle HARD with asking for help. I will say - we can't compare ourselves to our parents. They had retired parents (our grandparents) available as free childcare, and they often helped/supported with many other parenting/household responsibilities. My grandmother did laundry, cooked meals, drove us places, and did homework with us. She cleaned, too. Generationally speaking, things are not equivalent. Our parents are working longer, and (at least in the USA) we have astronomical childcare costs. Times have changed, and there should be no shame in outsourcing help when we need it. That is self-care, too. :).
House cleaning…..Yuk. I had a cleaner when I worked and even have one now that I am retired. I hate housework and when I did it on my own, I would start early in the morning, but become distracted and by 3 o’clock I still wasn’t finished. If you can manage it, having an housekeeper improves your quality of life immensely. Don’t feel guilty, feel enlightened.
A well-timed theme for me to imbibe, this asking for help thing has never been easy for me, but participating in Write of Passage has made a huge difference toward opening to collaborative experience. Between WoP and the community on substack I feel like I'm living in an “Hey, maybe we could help each other" festival. We're not making lasagna, but we are sending more art out of the kitchen than any of us would have on our own.