"I’d been inexplicably compelled to write about my first “professional” failure—getting rejected from law school."
I'm wondering if, in the years since that essay, you've reflected on why this was what you needed to write about. Are you able to describe what that might have been?
Great question, Adam! I have, and here’s what I’ve realized. I moved back to Montreal in 2020 after the better part of a decade abroad so naturally, I was in a reflective state. I felt there was *so* much I wanted to process, and I saw writing as a great way to share my lessons with others (since reading has done me a lifetime of service in tackling challenges and pursuing adventures of my own).
It was daunting to think “Where do I even *begin* deconstructing the past 7 years?” But then I realized my redirection from law school to moving overseas and embracing the unknown was my starting point. That rejection seemed like the *end* of the world at age 24, having not considered an alternative career path until then.
But from the moment I landed on British soil, I knew the redirection was a *huge* blessing. Going abroad solo was my first big, bold move as a young adult and it paved the way for all the amazing adventures that followed. It gave me courage to think bigger and take up more space in the world (and outside the safety net of Montreal).
It does. Thank you kindly for the thoughtful response.
I recall the pain of rejection when Harvard, Stanford and Wharton said "NO" to my applications for their MBA program about 40 years ago. Turns out they did me a huge favor. Prevented me from escaping "real life" and allowed me to confront decisions that I would have put off for at least two years. Things worked out just fine...
Love that! The first time I heard “‘Rejection’ is merely ‘redirection’” was a game changer for me. Changed everything about how I view doors closing and filled me with unconditional optimism about the future and walking my own path.
Almost weekly I question why I continue to publish my newsletter. It feels like a lot of work for minimal reward. And I have plenty of other things I should probably be spending my time on. You just reminded me why I do it. Thanks!
Thank *you*, Randy! I appreciate that. I love writing mine but I also feel conflicted at times, as though I should be spending this time on *paid* work. But then I reason it brings me purpose, enjoyment, and clarity of thought that helps me perform better overall.
Case in point though, over a month ago, I shared I was looking to transition into a job for various reasons (https://alexandraallen.substack.com/p/the-paradox-of-freedom-as-an-employee) but I put my search on hold until now since it was end of summer and I wanted to wrap up the loose projects ends I had on my plate. But now that I've started looking, part of me feels like I should hit 'pause' on my newsletter to spend every bit of energy job hunting. And last week, I swore that's what I'd do. But then I couldn't stop myself and I realized I don't have to. The more I write, the less daunting it is to write cover letters and CVs so I may as well embrace the practice and enjoyment of it.
I’d never heard of the looking backwards practice, but I like it a lot. Though I wonder if, looking back, Mr Bezos regrets having named it the “Regret Minimization Process” in lieu of something simpler, like, “look back and prosper.” I just published an article an hour ago along the lines of the willingness to fail theme. It’s about how much better our stories can engage others when we’re authentic about our struggles, which you’ve been doing with elegance from the beginning. Here’s the link if you want to read it. (Stop Trying to Look Good -
"It’s about how much better our stories can engage others when we’re authentic about our struggles, which you’ve been doing with elegance from the beginning."
Thank you, Rick! That's a high compliment.
I'm glad the looking backwards practice speaks to you. I'm not sure where Bezos stands on the naming (after all, it's been some 30+ years since he coined it). But my sense is the mindset around avoiding *negative* feelings and outcomes tends to grip people more.
For instance, have you heard of 'anti-goals'? Some people argue they're just as important as having goals because you identify places and states of being you never want to go or experience, so you design your life to avoid ending up there. I shared a post from Sahil Bloom on this in an old newsletter back in May 2022 (under the 'Content Diet' section): https://alexandraallen.substack.com/p/32nd-edition-get-my-1st-course-building
"The problem is most people can’t stand to do the first thing, and even fewer are willing to do the second." This is so true and one of the "simple" (not) life hacks! Congratulations on your 100th newsletter—what an accomplishment, Alexandra!
And aren't we all writing for the 80 year-old in a way? The 80 year-old reader, but also our own future 80 year-old self (if we get so lucky). This call 'from the future', nudging us to create, to act, to live fully while we still have the chance.
"I’d been inexplicably compelled to write about my first “professional” failure—getting rejected from law school."
I'm wondering if, in the years since that essay, you've reflected on why this was what you needed to write about. Are you able to describe what that might have been?
Great question, Adam! I have, and here’s what I’ve realized. I moved back to Montreal in 2020 after the better part of a decade abroad so naturally, I was in a reflective state. I felt there was *so* much I wanted to process, and I saw writing as a great way to share my lessons with others (since reading has done me a lifetime of service in tackling challenges and pursuing adventures of my own).
It was daunting to think “Where do I even *begin* deconstructing the past 7 years?” But then I realized my redirection from law school to moving overseas and embracing the unknown was my starting point. That rejection seemed like the *end* of the world at age 24, having not considered an alternative career path until then.
But from the moment I landed on British soil, I knew the redirection was a *huge* blessing. Going abroad solo was my first big, bold move as a young adult and it paved the way for all the amazing adventures that followed. It gave me courage to think bigger and take up more space in the world (and outside the safety net of Montreal).
It was effectively the first time I “burned the boats” and threw away my safety net to chase a dream (I wrote more about this in a previous newsletter: https://alexandraallen.substack.com/p/41st-edition-burning-the-boats-?utm_source=email&publication_id=453956&post_id=64278445).
Hope that answers your question! I appreciate the reflection prompt.
It does. Thank you kindly for the thoughtful response.
I recall the pain of rejection when Harvard, Stanford and Wharton said "NO" to my applications for their MBA program about 40 years ago. Turns out they did me a huge favor. Prevented me from escaping "real life" and allowed me to confront decisions that I would have put off for at least two years. Things worked out just fine...
Love that! The first time I heard “‘Rejection’ is merely ‘redirection’” was a game changer for me. Changed everything about how I view doors closing and filled me with unconditional optimism about the future and walking my own path.
Almost weekly I question why I continue to publish my newsletter. It feels like a lot of work for minimal reward. And I have plenty of other things I should probably be spending my time on. You just reminded me why I do it. Thanks!
Thank *you*, Randy! I appreciate that. I love writing mine but I also feel conflicted at times, as though I should be spending this time on *paid* work. But then I reason it brings me purpose, enjoyment, and clarity of thought that helps me perform better overall.
Case in point though, over a month ago, I shared I was looking to transition into a job for various reasons (https://alexandraallen.substack.com/p/the-paradox-of-freedom-as-an-employee) but I put my search on hold until now since it was end of summer and I wanted to wrap up the loose projects ends I had on my plate. But now that I've started looking, part of me feels like I should hit 'pause' on my newsletter to spend every bit of energy job hunting. And last week, I swore that's what I'd do. But then I couldn't stop myself and I realized I don't have to. The more I write, the less daunting it is to write cover letters and CVs so I may as well embrace the practice and enjoyment of it.
I’d never heard of the looking backwards practice, but I like it a lot. Though I wonder if, looking back, Mr Bezos regrets having named it the “Regret Minimization Process” in lieu of something simpler, like, “look back and prosper.” I just published an article an hour ago along the lines of the willingness to fail theme. It’s about how much better our stories can engage others when we’re authentic about our struggles, which you’ve been doing with elegance from the beginning. Here’s the link if you want to read it. (Stop Trying to Look Good -
https://www.pivottothepodium.com/p/stop-trying-to-look-good-this-weeks)
"It’s about how much better our stories can engage others when we’re authentic about our struggles, which you’ve been doing with elegance from the beginning."
Thank you, Rick! That's a high compliment.
I'm glad the looking backwards practice speaks to you. I'm not sure where Bezos stands on the naming (after all, it's been some 30+ years since he coined it). But my sense is the mindset around avoiding *negative* feelings and outcomes tends to grip people more.
For instance, have you heard of 'anti-goals'? Some people argue they're just as important as having goals because you identify places and states of being you never want to go or experience, so you design your life to avoid ending up there. I shared a post from Sahil Bloom on this in an old newsletter back in May 2022 (under the 'Content Diet' section): https://alexandraallen.substack.com/p/32nd-edition-get-my-1st-course-building
Oh cool, anti-goals! Thanks and going to check this out.
Thanks for writing this!
It’s so relatable and gives me energy to just keep on writing and trying and stumbling on my way.
Thank you, Lotus!! That is *incredibly* rewarding to hear. I appreciate you! :)
It’s a really good piece! I’m so glad I found it. Looking forward to reading more from you :)
Thank you!! :)
"The problem is most people can’t stand to do the first thing, and even fewer are willing to do the second." This is so true and one of the "simple" (not) life hacks! Congratulations on your 100th newsletter—what an accomplishment, Alexandra!
And aren't we all writing for the 80 year-old in a way? The 80 year-old reader, but also our own future 80 year-old self (if we get so lucky). This call 'from the future', nudging us to create, to act, to live fully while we still have the chance.