š» How to grow from rejection (and help others do the same)
Why sharing isn't just caringāit's cathartic
Happy Wednesday, I hope youāre having a wonder-full week.
Sunday meltdown
I cried over a $4 shower caddy on Sunday.
My day had been sunny and blissful until that moment. I was kicking goals on my to-do list setting the pace for a productive week ahead. You know those tiny household tweaks you make that no one else notices but instantly add more flow to your day?
For me, that meant a floral arrangement in my kitchen and lining my cupboards with shelf paper that taunted me with air pockets no matter how slowly I wentāthe worst. After that, it was onto what I thought would be the easiest of all: hanging a shower caddy to stylishly house my bath and shower products. But hell, it didnāt fit.
I wrestled with the shower head and cable and considered alternative approaches to shower caddyingālike hanging it on the shower rod (desperate times). But eventually, I took an exasperated breath, accepted it didnāt fit and shed a few tears in mourning.
If that sounds like an overreaction, itās because it is. It wasnāt about the shower caddyāit was about what its ill-fit represents. And to me, thatās rejection.
My 3 big rejections as a first-year solopreneur
Iāve spent the past eleven months working hard as a solopreneur. And while Iāve been blessed to work with trailblazers in the online course space, Iāve also experienced a lot of rejection. So preparing for year two by reflecting on year one can be as painful as it is prideful. Butāsince writing is catharticāhereās a walkthrough of my three biggest rejections with lessons Iāll apply going forward (in hopes they help you too):
š Rejection #1: The bureaucratic blocker
What happened: In March, a university offered me a $25K project I was perfect for. It was only meant to take three weeks but I budgeted a month and turned down other projects to make it a priority. The contract was signed and I was hyped to get started. But then an insurance requirement derailed everything (to make a long story short: Quebec has a different legal system than the rest of Canada and since the university is in another province I needed to adjust my policy and couldnāt get it done fast enough).
Lesson: Carefully review contractual requirements before you turn down other projects. When I suddenly found myself with no paid projects on the horizon for April, I realized I could either agonize behind my computer or step up my game and connect with prospective new clients in person (which amplifies relationship building). So I went to an education conference in San Diego and Miami Tech Week a couple of weeks later.
I was stressed about spending money when I potentially had none coming in for the next monthābut before I even landed in San Diego I had several startup founders reach out through the event app about projects they needed help with. I wound up signing on for a two-week project for $10K and made up the other $15K shortly thereafter. Plus I met a bunch of incredible people Iām looking forward to seeing again next year.
š Rejection #2: The FOMO-driven flop
What happened: In February, I was invited to apply for a role with an industry-leading company. The problem was I would have to 1) work mostly on operations versus learning design, and 2) give up self-employment to become a full-time employee. Both felt like the wrong choice but I also felt I had to apply. The company, team, and role were too good to pass up.
So I spent a substantial amount of time doing case studies, interviews, and talking through the prospect of getting the role during what was supposed to be a long overdue vacation. At the end of which, I was rejected. I wasnāt a fit.
Lesson: Trust your gutāeven when it means walking away from great opportunities. I could have saved myself and the team time and energy (especially since they were generous in providing constructive feedback) had I not been fearful of missing out.
So earlier this summer, when I was invited to apply for another role with an equally reputable company that was more focused on learning design, I told them it was difficult not to apply but that I owed it to myself and was excited to see where my solopreneur adventures take me. The best part? Iām still working with them on an informal basis.
š Rejection #3: The social media slow burn (sometimes stagnation)
What happened: This one feels like an ongoing rejection. Iāve struggled with producing content for Twitter and LinkedIn over the past eleven months, and Iāve struggled to grow my following as a result. Hell, people have told me theyāre surprised I keep shipping this newsletter with only 220 subscribers after forty-seven weeks.
It can be tough to stomach sometimes. Especially, when I see so many people producing at machine-like force, amassing huge audiences. It makes me doubt whether Iāll ever manage to follow suit.
Lesson: Iām still working on this one. But Iāve realized I need to lean into my go-to mantra for life in general: āthe only path to follow is your own.ā Wouldnāt it be anticlimactic to write the same story as someone else and know what each chapter will bring? Instead, Iāll find my own rhythm to create content by experimenting and having fun with it going forward. Stay tuned.
Preparing yourself (or your students) for rejection
āYouāre way too good for him/her.ā
āTheir team doesnāt deserve you!ā
Those are but a couple of common consolations we offer loved ones in the throes of rejection. But thatās the high schooler in us chalking up misalignment to one party being ābetterā than the other. And Iām not judgingāIāve been guilty of cheerleading those standpoints to friends and family in their darkest hours.
But now, Iām less emotional and more thoughtful (translation: less reactive and more responsive) in consoling othersānot to mention myself. Rejection is simply feedback that youāre not a fit with your pursuit. And thatās good to know because it prompts you to 1) level up and reapply or b) redirect elsewhere.

Isnāt that better than wasting your time on something that wonāt bring you the happiness or fulfillment you think it will? Letās not forget expectation and reality are rarely identical twins.
š Teaching tip: Whether youāre teaching students or teammates, the best way to help them grow from rejection is to share vulnerably about how youāve levelled up or redirected based on rejections of your own.
Thatās all for today. Thanks for being one of my first 220 subscribers.
For those of you new to this burgeoning community of course creators and writers, check out past editions here. Also, feel free to hit reply with feedback. I would love to hear from you.
Have a wonder-full week,
P.S. If youāre currently struggling with rejection, hereās a reason to be grateful for it:




Lessons learned and shared eloquently.
Subscriber counts don't really matter. Big impacts are made with smaller audiences. The people who ask why you keep publishing--I wonder how many subs they have? (I don't actually wonder. I already know.)
hey Alle so cool to see you sharing.
š